This Ramadan, I didn’t fast. Not because I lost faith. Not because I forgot the beauty of it. But because I didn’t want to fast for the wrong reason.
Back in August 2024, I weighed 320 pounds. That number was a game changer. I went to the hospital for something unrelated, but the doctors found deeper issues. Sicknesses I didn’t even know I had. That day opened my eyes. My body wasn’t just heavy. It was struggling. That month, I made a serious decision. I committed to a complete lifestyle change. Not to impress anyone. Not for social media. But to reclaim my health and honor the body Allah gave me.
So when Ramadan came around this year, my heart wanted to fast. I missed the feeling. I missed the closeness to Allah that only Ramadan brings. But I also knew that my intention wasn’t where it needed to be. If I fasted just to accelerate weight loss or burn calories, I’d be disrespecting the spirit of it. And I couldn’t let that happen.
Instead, I chose to stay connected to Allah in other ways. I prayed daily. I did Zikr often. I reflected quietly and thanked Him for every breath, every bit of strength, every small progress. I didn’t fast this year, but I didn’t disconnect either. In some ways, I felt even more spiritually aware. I was conscious of Him all day and night.
This post is not to give anyone clarification. I don’t owe that to anyone. Allah knows my heart. He knows my neeyat, my faith, my love for Him. This is my personal website, and I write here to remind myself where I was in life and what I was going through. It is also for those who visit this site because they care about me, who love me sincerely, and who are not here to compete or steal ideas. If they learn something from me, I hope they remember to give credit. Whether it’s here or on any of my social platforms across the web, my goal has always been to inspire and be real.
I made a personal promise. Once I reach my goal weight and rebuild my health, I will return to fasting. And this time, my heart will be clear. Not focused on calories or the scale, but fully focused on pleasing Allah alone.
This was my Ramadan. Different from the past, but full of devotion in its own way. Still connected. Still grounded. Still grateful.
To those who fasted this year, may Allah accept your fasting in the blessed month of Ramadan. May your efforts be rewarded in this life and the next. Happy Eid to you and your loved ones.
And as for me, inshaAllah, I cannot wait for next Ramadan. With better health. A stronger body. And a heart more devoted than ever.
